It is not uncommon for women to remain in toxic relationships due to a variety of factors, such as self-esteem, financial issues, or childhood trauma. The following list identifies reasons why it may be hard to leave such relationships as well as ways to do so.
1. Being alone scares me. Childhood abandonment, social or cultural pressures, and feelings of not being enough or complete without a partner can result in fear of being alone.
2. I’m afraid of being perceived as a failure by others. There is no failure of self-love or self-protection if we walk away from a relationship that is emotionally and physically abusive.
3. I’m fat, ugly, or old: These thoughts can affect your life in many ways, not just in relationships. The more you practice self-love and change negative thoughts about yourself, the more confident you will be and the more people will see you for who you are.
4. No one else would love me like they do: This is a lie that you have told yourself or that you were led to believe by someone else. Putting yourself first will allow you to find a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
5. I cannot afford to live alone. If you are financially dependent on your partner, I understand how difficult it can be. Take a look at options you haven’t considered before. You may feel ashamed, but you don’t have to let that keep you from leaving. Those close to you will be more than willing to help you if you ask. Consider external resources. Having stabilized your life, you can rebuild your finances and rebuild your life.
6. It is my responsibility to stay for the sake of the children. Staying may do more harm to your children than good. As a result of growing up in an abusive home, children can develop emotional instability as well as repeated patterns of abuse.
7. I hope that he will change: They rarely do, and if he does, it may be temporary. There is often a history of abuse among those who abuse, and they need professional assistance.
8. I will regret it. You will only regret not leaving sooner.
9. I’ll disappoint my family. It won’t happen. You will be admired for protecting your children and looking out for yourself.
10. I am concerned for my children and myself. It is a valid concern and should not be ignored. Be sure to seek protection from your family, law enforcement, or other agencies if you feel your safety and that of your children are at risk. Legal protection is available to you. Make sure you stay vigilant and watch what you are doing and what is going on around you.
11. It is possible that I will lose everything I own. It is possible, but there is also so much more you can gain. Joy, peace, and happiness can be found in new beginnings. It is within your power to rebuild a better foundation for yourself and your children.
12. I’m afraid to start over, and date again. You don’t have to but when you do, you’ll know what you want and deserve in a relationship.
13. I could lose my children to him. In such a case, you should seek legal counsel and protection. When it comes to ruling in the best interest of the child, the law will always consider both sides. Preparation, education, and fighting for your kids is key.
14. Deal with guilt. There may be times when you feel guilty. It’s important to talk yourself out of it. You should never feel guilty for protecting yourself and your children. You haven’t done anything wrong. Move on with your life, forgiving and making sure you’re on the right path.
Abuse is never OK. For those women who are not abused physically or verbally, I want to let you know abuse can take many forms. The person you are in a relationship with could be manipulative, controlling, or emotionally abusive. You are not alone. Always believe in yourself, be smart, vigilant, and resilient.
It is recommended that you read “Sticky Girls” by May Woodworth. The author explains with sensitivity and compassion why women remain with toxic partners.